Avoiding

So, around my birthday, May, due to some prior circumstances I got extremely upset with an ex-girl friend of who i was attempting get back on the "speaking level". But ... She ends up royally pissing me off, and so I wrote some crazy ass shit on my Facebook profile like "I FUCKING HATE FAKE PEOPLE I WISH THEY ALL WOULD COMMIT SUICIDE..." and something else like "I KILLED A BUM AND THREW HIM THE RIVER, THEN KICKED THE DOG THAT WAS FOLLOWING HIM".. that some serious fuck up shit to be said. I know that, and that's how I vent. I say really fucked up stuff. Let me just say this, i've never actually killed anybody, nor have i ever even seriously hurt somebody. Although my older brother and i used to fight, a lot, and we still have our drunken wrestling matches from time to time.

To say something like i did is odd, but the thing is... i forgot that i had said it until today. I never look at my own profile, so i write stuff and forget what i wrote or what's even showing. But, like i said, i was reminded today by that bombshell i was talking about a few months back. You see apparently she read what i had wrote, and it frightened her. So from the time she i wrote that's violent things and up until today she had not spoken to me. After several attempts to contact her. Well, i was heartbroken instantly, somebody i cared for deeply had actually been avoiding me. She was scared for her future safety, which means i was in her future somewhere. Not sure where, but i was there!

Now I feel depressed, and i feel as though i've lost her, again! Which will be the 4th time. I suppose you have to have something before you lose it.. *sigh*

hmm..